Sixth annual Blitz Bowl tournament - Holiday Havok V
(2025 edition)
Holiday Havok 2025 Match 1
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| Dwarf lineman on the move |
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| A coach explains her dwarven team philosophy |
The Halflings have recruited a new Treeman, Strongroot Birdsong. He reportedly is eager to knock some heads. The Grudgebearers are trying to get vengence for past losses and make it out of the first round for the first time since joining the league in 2020.
The Vicious-Vittle Chasers from Blue Reach take the field (#6 Bilbali Harbour) and rush to surround the "ball", a large handpie! The dwarves struggle to get to the end of the long pitch here at Bilbali Harbour, and the Halflings pick up the ball. They show some team work and form a running cage.
The dwarves push and shove but can’t make much progress. What is going on here, a lone halfling Catcher is running down the pitch! He’s calling for the pass, but alas his teammate with the ball has been splattered across the Astrogranite. The other Catcher is down too and the Dwarves have the ball! They run it around the outside, but get pinned down by Strongroot. Two dwarves take the big treeman down, and a huge scrum erupts. The halflings pour onto the pitch as quickly as the Grudgebearers sit them down (and out). A hefty Halfling gets together with the treeman and injures the dwarves Trollslayer. Birdsong rears back to make a Kerruch!! But he misses the ballcarrier!!! Dwarves retaliates and the crack of a breaking branch reverberates - the crowd is going nuts! There is the final whistle — the Dwarves have done it! In a game with nary a touchdown, they are moving on to the next round for the first time in Holiday Havok history!!!
Grymhold Grudgebearers — 18
Vicious Vittle-Chasers of Blue Reach — 14
Holiday Havok 2025 Match 2
Welcome Sports Fans - Lokota Longclaw here on a classic pitch (#1) in Naggaroth to bring you a novel matchup — Puswater Pestilence vs DuneStar ShadowKnives. The dark elves won the toss and are moving first, the Pestilence get their Bloaters in the way but there goes Sethera the Runner scooping up the loose ball.
The Pestigor gets him lined up but he throws the ball to a teammate. Impressive! The darkly lineman pulls a quick end around, sidestepping to a TD and he showboats in the endzone! Look out Nurgle faithful, better wake up your coach, you are down 5-0 already!
The Dark Elves guard the second ball and manage to injure a Bloater! The Nurgle Pestigor tries to take down Sethera but again but he hands the ball off to a nearby lineman. The lineman pushes away the Pestigor, then hands the ball off to Sethera, who Jumps Up! Sethera is dodging between ranks of Rotters, a second TD! The game is broken open, 15-6 in favor of the Elves.
Nurgle is not to be denied however —- his ‘blessed’ former gladiators pick and move their way up the pitch, gathering the third ball and injuring a couple of ShadowKnives. The Elves try to get the ball loose and fail. The Pestigor sees his chance and busts through for a score! Puswater takes the lead after a Bloater levels another elf with a satisfying Kerrrunch!!! The score is now 18-20 Nurgle! What a match Tom!
{rasping breath} No kidding, Longclaw… I haven’t seen a comeback like this since the Spinning Rocks return tour in the 40’s!
Don’t count your cockatrices yet, Tom. The Dark Elves have a secret weapon, literally. Look at that sword! He took the head off that Rotter lineman… where is the Ref? Oh my…
That’s the whistle and the ‘Knives have edged out the Pestilence in a match for the ages… The Nurgle fans must be devastated by this one, Tom.
{sigh…} I know I am…
DuneStar ShadowKnives — 25
Puswater Pestilence — 24
Holiday Havok 2025 Match 3
{rasping voise} Tom Bones here from Nehekara Tombs, my old home pitch. We have a great matchup today, last year’s champions, the Skittering Gutterrunners, and the Orcland Raiders. Lakota, what do you think?
Tom, I love that we are here in your stomping grounds to watch this matchup of brawn vs bustle. Did I just say that?
Anyway - the Orcs take the pitch and they look angry. They charge toward the ball and the Rats follow suit. Ghast-smasher takes down the Skaven blitzer and the Big-Un sprints off with the Squiq. After trading hits, the Big-Un Xrak lumbers into the end zone for a touchdown! He’s really dancing, boy that is awkward looking.
The Skaven Gutter Runner picks up the ensuing kickoff and gets leveled. A Skaven lineman shows ‘em how it’s done, rushing around the end to tie up the game at 15-15!
The ensuing ball launch results in a brief scuffle and the orcs come out on top. The Orcland thrower scoops up the ball and retreats between blockers and the stockades on his side of the pitch. The Skaven make a decent show of it, downing the Orc blitzer and freeing up the ball from the Thrower. The orcs respond by tying up Skaven on the endline and injure a ratman, then a lineman picks up the ball, tosses it to the Big-Un who moves the ball down the pitch! He levels another Gutter Runner and the Big-un scores! The Orcs lead 24-15.
The ensuing launch comes out to the right. The Gutter Runner is back taking the ball down into the Orc side—-
{What- he’s rearing back to toss it up to the blitzer, it’s up - - it’s a catch and a TD! The crowd goes wild}
Yes - the game is 22-24, can they do it? Oof - not if Ghast-smsher has anything to say, he’s laid out a Skaven and the game ends 26-22. I’d say that was a whole team effort, Tom.
{Yes it was - that is what it takes to best the reigning champs}
Right-o my undead friend. The orcs will go on in the tournament, seeking their first Finals appearance.
Orcland Raiders — 26
Skittering Gutterpunks — 22
Holiday Havok 2025 Match 4
{Humans unite, of a type I suppose. We have that up and coming team from the empire, the Hochland Harbingers vs a bloodthirsty group of Khorne worshipers from the wastes up north, the Khornate Blood-letters!}
Right you are Tom, Lakota Longclaw here in our second game of a double header at the Nehekara Tombs for the Khornate Blood-letters vs Hochland Harbingers. The Harbingers are hoping to return to glory after a tough exit last year, and the Blood-letters are hoping to make a mark for the first time in the tournament.
The game starts with the Harbingers racing to the ball. The Blood-letters captain shows them how it’s done, taking down one of the human lineman. The Hochland star blitzer Dreng Sturmblud has the ball… he finds a gap, and he is through! He drops a Khorne acolyte at the goalline and scores a TD! Dreng is flailing around in pain, wait… that’s a celebration dance of some kind!!! {The crowd seems to enjoy it at least.} If you say so, the Khornate team is quick to respond with some nifty tactics impressing the coaches and fans alike… the score is 9-7 in their favor.
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| Khorne Success |
The game is close – and the Humans get another quick TD! The Catcher Fleetfoot ran an end around, tossing it to the Thrower who lept in the endzone! But the Khorne team comes right back as the Khorngor smashes through the remaining Human line for a TD of his own, and his tail twitch dance will surely go viral on the Cabalvison network.
There is a Bloodseeker down on the trap door, but he is lucky and the new ball pops out of the other side! After a brief tussle the Blood God faithful take the ball and also injure another Harbinger lineman! The crowd is a roar and the Khorne team looks to go ahead for good, 22-18. The Harbingers have one last chance, if their blitzer can drop the marauder in front of him he’ll have a clear shot to a winning TD… the crowd is shouting “take him down” and he lowers his shoulder… and only manages to shove the Chaos worshipper. The Khorne Blood-letters are moving on to the next round!
Khornate Blood-letters — 22
Hochland Harbingers — 20
Holiday Havok 2025 Match 5
Welcome to Bilbali Harbour for a clash between two enduring franchises, the Eternal Twilight and the Casket Jumpers.
{The Jumpers are a largely new team since we beat the Eternals in Havok IV. I’m interested in how Ramtut III will perform today}
Right, Tom Bones. The wight is a new addition as well, what with your retirement last year. The Twilight tree-dwellers are largely the same team that lost that Finals match two seasons ago, and they look like they want payback!
The ball flies out of the trapdoor on the Jumpers end and the Wardancer sprints up to the ball. The Mummy looks to lay him out, and —- oops he sidestepped the hit! It almost looked like he was too quick there, what do you think, Tom?
{That was illegal use of magic, no doubt! Where’s the ref!?}
The war dancer distracts the undead while the thrower Willow Rosebark scores a TD! The catcher Myrmion ties up and zombie and the Wight Rottin’ Reggie — the Eternals lead 8-2.
Reggie injures Mymion and moves the new ball up the pitch. He’s scored a TD as well! 7-8.
The next ball is up, and doesn’t even hit the ground! Willow is back out there and catches the ball on the run, tossing it over the head of Ramtut to Dyrion, another catcher. He scampers into the end zone and an inspired lineman steps up to Ramtut; just look at the Eternals play as a team, Tom! 14-9 is the lead.
{<hiss> Yes Lakota, a scrum is breaking out over the next ball. Ramtut misses a big swing and the elves get in a couple of hits… the score is 17-11, and OH MY skeleton Rickety Rick shows them how it is done with a big hit on the thrower and a TD! Tie game 17-17}
Dyrion is back out on the pitch and he sweeps across the field for the fastest answr=ering score I’ve seen yet this season! Rottin’ Reggie gets the ball in his own half. Ramtut ignores the next ball, injuring Willow Rosebark. He hands off to a ravenous ghoul who dodges his way to a third TD of the game for the Jumpers!!! They take the lead 25-24.
Time is ticking down, A zombie catches the inbounded ball - An elf lineman, Seleen shoves him, the crowd roars!!! 28-25 for the elves… wait?! What is this? A wizard is being marched off the sidelines…
{It’s illegal used of magic, Lakota! The Casket Jumpers move on to the next round as the Eternals are disqualified!!! Oh boy this makes my bones ache to get back out onto the pitch!!}
Casket Jumpers - 25
Twilight Eternals - 28 — *disqualified (illegal use of magic)
** on first two rounds, mis used the Wardancer ability)
Holiday Havok 2025 Match 5 - Quarterfinal #1
{Tom Bones brining you a Mountainous Matchup}
Yes, Tom! We’ve got the rampaging goblin horde, Stoneskulz, against the Grymhold Grudgebearers. Grymhold is coming off a victory over the leagues other stunts team, the Halflings. The goblins are looking for a win for the first time in over a year.
The goblins set us started and the troll Big Toof rushes the ball with two teammates. A one goblin shows us how it’s done and gets the ball. He tosses it back to another teammate, and gets crushed!
{The apothecaries will be challenged to put that git back together, Lakota}
Right oh, Tom! Ok, so a deaf has the ball and gets wrestled down by Big Toof! A goblin slips between the lines and is in for the TD!!! He’s doing quite a dance and the crowd loves it.
The Grudgebearer runner falls down the trap door - but their blitzer gets revenge, pasting another goblin against one of the statues here at White Wolf Holm pitch. The crowd groans in appreciation.
We have a close score today, 11-12! The dwarves march the ball down for a score, but another robin is on the next laugh and he’s in for a score! His teammates in the dugout join for a synchronized bit of rodent gnashing…
{I’d un-dead and I still find that disgusting}
The score is so close - 20-22 the Stoneskulz lead, but here come the dwarves with a last push, they work together as a team and move the ball down the field, that’s it - the buzzer sounds and the team from Grymhold is going to move on to the Semifinals!
Grymhold Grudgebearers - 23
Stoneskulz - 22
Holiday Havok 2025 Match 6 - Quarterfinal #2
Tonight we have the 2024 runner up DuneStar ShadowKnives facing off with the upstart Khonate Bloodletters.
{The bloodletters have just switched up their tactics to better appease the Blood God, Khorne. Former chosen make up most of their ranks}
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| The Dark Elfs from DuneStar trap the ball in the corner but fail to capitalize |
Thank you for that, Tom. We are back at the White Wolf Helm pitch and the dark elves rush to the center first. The chaos team is quick to respond and the team jostle for position. After some pushing and shoving a runner makes off with the ball and scores!
The Khornigor shows everyone how to do it and ends up with the ball. The ShadowKnives tie him up in the corner with the two Blood God warriors - but fail to get the ball back, and the ‘letters score!
The elven runner falls into the pit and the next ball pops out and it’s another quick Khonrne TD! The dark elves crawl back into the lead 21-20, but some fancy teamwork puts the Khorne team into the next round!
<Dry rattling rasps, as Tom laughs> {Can you believe the Chaos faithful team won with no casualties caused!?}
Khornate Blood-Letters - 23
DuneStar ShadowKnives - 21
Holiday Havok 2025 Match 7 - Quarterfinal #3
{raspy voice -- Flash vs bash!}
Right you are Tom, is the Southsea Coast Breakers vs Orcland Raiders!
Lakota Longclaw here with the orcs hosting this game at Nehekara Tombs, on the musty, wood-framed pitch. The Big-un gets right into the face of two elves right away - and they respond by putting him on the pitch! He kips up - woah what a limber orc!
{Ooh and he just put that catcher on a stretcher!} The orc thrower in the meantime passes back to his own end zone, it’s a completion!
The orc lineman rushes with the ball and the elves play as a team to get in his way. The Orcs respond with a nifty team play of their own and the orc blitzer dances in the end zone!
{The orc sprinted in the play and a lineman executed a perfect diving tackle with the play named Doomed Diversion, per the Orcland coach.
The elves are on the ropes 17-5! They respond with a TD of their own to avoid sudden death!}
The orcs were already celebrating Tom, I think the elves have them off guard. They drop another orc and then they take the led on another TD!
Wow what a reversal of fortune! The orcs now focus on ball control and crawl into tie. The elves push for a final go ahead TD and the Orcs take one of them down but don’t injure him - there is one last chance for the Coast Breakers, down 28 - 24.
{The elf thrower ties up two orcs, and a lineman come sin to try for an injury — the orc is down, and he looks hurt…. … no look at that raw talent as he shakes off what was sure to be a concussion, at least — hiss}
I know Tom, looks like the Raiders might face off against your old team, the Casket Jumpers in the Semi finals!
Orcland Raiders - 28
Southsea Coast Breakers - 26
Holiday Havok 2025 Match 8 - Quarterfinal #4
Casket Jumpers come out vs the Lustria Instigators. The new team, the lizard men, show no fear and quickly build a lead! The Undead respond with a TD, biut then two quick skink CDs put the Instagators back on top for good. The Babel Vision feed was lost at this point, but I’m being told the Instagators won 25-24 in a buzzer beater!
{I’m suspicious about the results here, I bet bribery is involved…}
No way to know for sure TOm. Regardless, look for the ‘Gators to fight for a spot in the Finals with the Orlando Raiders next round. Until then, he’s Tom Bones, and I’m Lakota Longclaw
Lustria Instagators -25
Casket Jumpers - 24
Holiday Havok 2025 Match 9 - Semi Finals #1
Here we are at NAF Stadium for the first semifinals of HolIday Havok 2025 with the Chordate Blood-letters hosting the Gyrmhold Grudgebearers. The Dwarves take to the pitch first and the Chaos wasters soon follow. There is a major scrum in the middle, with both team trying to inject the other to no success. There are bodies piled everywhere, the dwarf runner fumbles a throw back to his line, then collects the ball again behind a line. The blitzer knocks down a marauder, and he’s off on a stretcher. A foul against a warrior and the dwarves have the crown on it’s feet 16-7!
{This is a game that favors the dwarves, held up in the middle, in possession, with lots of hitting!}
Right you are Tom, and the Blood-letters are looking stymied! They tie up the dwarves, but then a block by the blitzer frees up the ballcarrier, who sprints down the sideline. A lineman with the ball now, he’s tackled by a marauders but it’s too late! Not a single TD in this game, Tom!
{The crowd is impressed with the strength of the dwarves team, but to be honest, not the most exciting game I’ve ever seen.}
Well, the Grudgebearers are headed to the finals for the first time in Havok history! Will they face the Orlando Raiders in their first appearance, despite being the oldest team in the league? Or will it be the new, upstart team of lizard men from Lustria? Tune in next time to find out, Blitz Bowl fans!
Grymhold Grudgebearers -- 20
Khornate Blood-letters -- 13
Holiday Havok 2025 Match 10 - Semi Finals #2
Orcland vs Lustria. Founding team vs expansion team.
Lakota Longclaw reporting again from NAF Stadium. The Orcs defer to the Lizards, who take the initial ball launch. The orcs Tie up the middle and a brawl starts. The orcs injure a skink, but the remaining lizard men have a play organized and the other skink scores a touchdown! The new ball is caught by a Sauron, and an orc shows us how it is done by laying him out! The orcs move the new ball up the field, with the Big ‘Un running the ball. spreading out the team. A lone skink takes the Big ‘Un down! He moves the ball up to the middle of the field. Look at that skink go, he stepped right up into the Orc Blitzer’s face. The ballcarrier is tackled the Orc, but he hands off to a Sauron Blocker. The Sauron moves the ball, marks into the end zone, and fakes a sidestep then shoves the orc lineman for the second TD by the Instigators!!
The orcs are unable to respond and the game ends in a sudden death victory. Lustria is in the 2025 Havok finals! The orcs will like their wounds and have to plan for 2026.
Lustria Instigators - 20
Orlando Raiders - 10
Holiday Havok 2025 Match 11 - Finals
Lakota Longclaw:
“Good evening, sports fans, and welcome to the grandest spectacle this side of the Old World! The Barak-Varr Crush stands here at are packed, the pitch is trembling, and the referees have already started pretending not to see things. That’s right, folks—it’s the Holiday Havok Finals! Trust me, this is the kind of match you train your whole life to survive.”
Tom:
“Heh heh heh… survive, she says. Oh, Lakota, that’s optimistic. I’m Tom Bones—your wight who’s never wrong— current expert on falling apart under pressure—and I can tell you, someone’s leaving pieces of themselves on this field tonight. Possibly literally.”
Lakota:
“Facing off first, the unyielding Grymhold Grudgebearers. These Dwarfs don’t play fast, they don’t play flashy—but they play like every tackle is personal. Solid armor, iron discipline, and a memory for grudges longer than most careers.”
Tom:
“Mmm, yes… I admire their commitment. You knock one of them down, and they remember it forever. I once saw a Dwarf avenge a foul committed three seasons after he died. Beautiful dedication.”
Lakota:
“And across the line, fresh from the jungles, it’s the Lustria Instigators! Lizardmen built for speed and power—Skinks darting like arrows, Saurus stampeding like war beasts, and teamwork honed by instincts older than the stadium itself.”
Tom:
“So quick… so crunchy… ahem—coordinated, I meant coordinated. Hard team to pin down, Lakota. Harder to outrun. Especially if you’re, say, short and wearing forty pounds of metal.”
Lakota:
“This is strength versus agility, patience versus pressure. The Grudgebearers want to grind this match into the dirt. The Instigators want to blow it wide open and never look back.”
Tom:
“And I just want to see what happens when ancient grudges meet cold-blooded ambition. Spoiler: it’s messy.”
Lakota:
“Strap in, fans. This isn’t just a championship—it’s a clash of styles, cultures, and survival instincts.”
Tom:
“The whistle’s about to blow, the dead are very interested, and the living should probably stand back.”
Both:
“Welcome to the Holiday Havok Finals! 🏈🩸”
Lakota:
“The lizard men take the first move and a skink leads the wedge with two blockers. The dwarves blitzer shows them how it’s done kicking over the ballcarrier, and after getting moving the dwarf team has a 4-0 lead.”
Tom:
“The Instigators execute a pounce formation, spreading out then clogging the middle. But the Troll Slayer frees up the ball, and a Dwarf Runner picks it up and squirts through! He side steps his way into the endzone, but wait - a skink intervenes and knocks the Runner on his rear! He’ll be fine… assuming ‘fine’ means horizontal.”
Lakota:
”He’ll be fine… assuming ‘fine’ means horizontal — That drive had promise. Then it had regret. A lizard man blocker scoops up the ball and runs it back to midfield. ”
Tom:
“The Instigators are looking to score! Looks like the dwarf Troll Slayer has other ideas, he launches himself into the Saurua ballcarrier —Down he goes! I remember my first time dying—very similar. The Grudgebearers push the lead to 16-8, despite not yet scoring any touchdowns.”
Lakota:
”A dwarf lineman picks up the ball and scampers up the sideline. A Saurus sizes him up for a big hit, and the dwarf side steps away!! What is this — agility from the Grudgebearers?”
Tom:
“They are stealing classic Lizardmen strategy: hit hard, run fast, and let instinct sort out the rest.”
Lakota:
”The lineman swings back to the left side of the pitch, playing keep-away, and is joined in getting moving by two teammates. They milk the clock and the Instigators are getting frustrated!”
Tom:
“Cold-blooded, clear-eyed, and completely uninterested in mercy. A skink puts the boot in on the downed Runner - The ref is looking the other way—ah, tradition.”
Lakota:
“Last moments of the game, and the lineman makes an Aggressive Mark - then pushes his way past the final defender and into the end zone! The crowd is erupting—this was classic Dwarf Blitz Bowl. Slow, punishing, unstoppable.”
Tom Bones:
“They didn’t just score. They proved a point. Several points, actually. They’re all written down somewhere.”
Lakota:
“That’s it! Your 2025 Champions - the Grymhold Grudgebearers!!!”
Grymhold Grudgebearers -- 26
Lustria Instigators -- 12
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